Wild Reapers: A Documentary
by Grell The Leper
Summary: Grell only wanted morning sex. That's all. But William had to go and leave, and there's only one thing that Grell can do: Make a documentary on the daily errands of a Wild William.


_ Welcome to yet another Grelliam fanfiction. I regret nothing. This, however is slightly different to the rest of them, as my friend decided that Grell should suddenly become that guy that narrates documentaries. And so he did. In his own stalkery way. So I would very much like to thank my friend Helen for this, (though she'll never read it, because she never has) and should probably take this time to thank my friend Caoimhe, CyborgCinderella, who lets me steal her computer for typing purposes. Also, I would like to point out that Grell is occasionally described as female in this, because he sees himself as such, and in modern day he probably appears as such too, but he is still very much male._

**Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji, Grell and William would've gotten together in the first episode. And the Undertaker would be in every episode, dancing with Ronald.**

**Wild Reapers: A Documentary**

Grell stretched languidly as he awoke, the sunlight shining on his face through a crack in the crimson curtains. Rolling over, he laid eyes on his lover whom, for once, hadn't woken before him.

"My Wild William appears not to have awoken from his nightly slumbers," Grell whispered. "It is an unseemly hour for the William not to have emerged from his hibernation."

Will twitched slightly, raising his hand to swat away something that wasn't actually there.

"Sutcliff, who are you talking to?" he groaned. Grell grinned, wrapping his arms around his boss.

"You know what'd be great, Will? Morning sex. Wouldn't that be nice?" he suggested. William rolled his eyes, getting out of bed after planting a kiss on the redhead's forehead.

"Not today, I need to get the groceries before work," he apologised before heading to the kitchen.

"The Wild William has declined the opportunity to mate in favour of sustenance, favouring his own needs over that of his mate's," Grell pouted, wrapping himself in his red dressing gown and following his lover to the kitchen.

"Are you suu-uure, Will?" he crooned, slinking up behind William.

"No, dear, just no. Here, drink your tea," William smiled, handing him the cup.

"Fine. Stupid groceries. Stupid non-morning sex. Stupid yummy tea," Grell grumbled, shuffling over to sit under the table and sulk.

"Really, Sutcliff, really?" William sighed. "Well, I'll see you after work, do behave yourself while I'm gone."

Grell watched from under the table as his boyfriend left the house.

"The Wild William has emerged from his burrow to go about his daily activities," he announced. "Unaware that his natural predator, the Wild Grell, is hot on his trail.

* * *

William strolled through the aisles of the human supermarket, feeling entirely ridiculous trying to navigate a trolley, of all things, through the hordes of little old women on their shopping days. Will hated shopping, he found it to be an unorganised waste of his valuable time, but after the last time Grell had gone shopping, William decided it would be in civilisation's best interest for him to do it instead.

Grell, meanwhile, was lurking in the cereal aisle, a box of _Cheerios _in front of his face in an effort to disguise himself.

"Excuse me, Miss, could you give me that box of cereal if you aren't going to buy it? My grandson loves that one, and it's the last box." Grell raised a well-groomed eyebrow at the old lady.

"Look lady, I need this box to hide from my boyfriend, I'm kinda stalking him at the moment, and it ruins it if he can see me," Grell sighed, wishing people would just understand.

"But I-"

"No. Get your grandson some other-"

"You listen to me, young lady!" Grell blinked in surprise as the old lady yelled at him. "I don't care who you're stalking, I'm having that cereal. Use a different box, you silly cow!" The woman snatched the cereal out of Grell's hands and marched away, muttering something about 'snobby redheaded tarts'. Grell made a mental note to add her to his reaping list.

"The Wild Grell has been opposed by her foe, but this will not distract her from her prey for long," the Reaper muttered, diving into a crate of strawberries as William rounded the corner.

"The Wild William has appeared. He seems to be investigating tropical substances." William lifted a fruit, squeezing it slightly, before swapping it for another. "The Wild William seems to disapprove of the pomegranates, opting instead for the seasonal passion-fruit."

Will placed the fruit in the trolley and moved on to the next aisle. Peering around for other Reapers and old ladies, Grell slowly climbed out of the strawberry basket.

"The Wild Grell has emerged from its' vantage point, ready to-"

"Excuse me, ma'am, but it's entirely inappropriate for you to be hiding in our fruit selection; I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

* * *

After a long argument involving squished strawberries and poor camouflage, ending with a deranged laugh and the cacophony of a chainsaw, Grell was finally able to tail William again, this time from the safety of a potted plant.

"The Wild William has prepared his afternoon meal, finding great sustenance in the traditional British cuisine of tea and scones," Grell whispered, peering at his lover through his red binoculars, though the Reaper could only have been three metres away.

William sighed loudly as he checked his watch, finishing off his tea and passing a bit of scone to the potted plant.

"Do you want this, Sutcliff? I don't want you killing people just because you're hungry," William offered.

"... I'm not Grell. I'm simply a palm tree."

"Of course, how silly of me. I'll leave the scone on the table then, should the palm tree grow hungry," William sighed, leaving the apartment with a shake of his head.

"The Wild William does not suspect that the foliage of his natural habitat was housing his predator," Grell chuckled, taking the scone from the table and back to the plant pot. "The Wild William has retreated to his workplace, but that will not deter the Wild Grell's appetite for kinky morning sex!"

* * *

William hated training interns. Most of them were absolutely clueless, with no respect for rules or authority. The kind of interns that would only listen to Grell. While he enjoyed his lover's general insanity at home, one Grell in the workplace was more than enough.

"The Wild William seems to be exasperated with the newest fledglings. The young are unruly, and the Wild William must ignore his natural instincts of fight or flight," Grell stated, confident that he would never be recognised in his genius disguise.

"Sir?" One of the other short interns raised his hand, waiting for William to acknowledge him.

"What is it?"

"Will this weird dude always be following us?" the intern asked, pointing towards Grell.

"You rude boy, how dare you!" Grell screeched, smacking the new Reaper with his handbag. "I am every inch the woman... Except for those seven or so a bit lower..."

The red-head then proceeded to chase the intern through the halls, trailing leaves and feathers as he ran.

"There's always one... Now, Rule Number Four," William sighed.

* * *

Two hours later and Grell was getting tired of waiting in William's filing cabinet. Will usually came back to his office at regular intervals, but the redhead hadn't seen his lover since the intern incident. Grell sighed loudly, wondering when the feeling would return to his legs.

"The Wild Grell grows tired of the chase, taking a quick rest in the nest of her prey."

"Grell-senpai, what are you doing here?"

"Ah! A Wild Ronald has appeared! Perhaps the Wild Grell has come to the wrong nest after all," Grell exclaimed, greeting the Reaper with wiggling finger.

"Uh... what?"

"Oh, never mind, you. Have you seen my darling William anywhere?"

"Oh, he said he was going to visit the Undertaker, I thi-"

"He what?! How am I supposed to stalk him when he's not even here?!" Grell fumed, climbing out of the filing cabinet. "Fear not, Wild Ronald. The Wild William has escaped for now, but he shall be within my claws once more!"

At this point, Ronald questioned nothing.

* * *

"The Wild William has wandered into the den of the fearsome beast, the Undertaker. The Wild Undertaker is the only creature the Wild William will converse with in his native tongue." Grell peered out of the coffin he had deemed his perch, all the while marvelling at how velvety the interior was.

"Ahehehehe, it seems you have a Wild Grell on your trail, Mr. Spears," the Undertaker giggled, munching on bone-shaped biscuits.

"I am not on anyone's trail, Undertaker, I am a corpse, dammit!" Grell shouted, doing a very poor impression of a dead body.

"Of course you are, milady. Honestly, Mr. Spears, it's your own fault."

"What? How is it my fault that Sutcliff has suddenly decided to develop his stalking abilities?" William demanded.

"You didn't give me morning sex, Will," Grell whined from inside the coffin.

"And so you were you stalked by a Wild Grell. There's only one way to fix that, Mr. Spears, aheheh."

"And what's that?"

With a grin, the Undertaker promptly shoved William into the coffin, slamming the lid on the two lovers and sitting himself on top of it.

"The Wild Grell has ensnared its' prey," he chuckled, oblivious to the sexual noises emitting from the casket. "Alas, the dreaded Undertaker must return to his dead."

* * *

"Sutcliff, are you quite done?"

"Yes, dear."

"I am never letting you and the Undertaker watch those mortal documentaries ever again. And I mean it this time."

"Yet the Wild Grell is still so very satisfied with its' prey."

**The End.**


End file.
